So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Man, jail baloney is awful.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
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