So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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