the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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