I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
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Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
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