i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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