You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
