the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
