Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
