i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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