Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
