I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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