I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
That accounts for only three of the penises
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
