I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we're making bets on your personal life
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
