I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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