Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
