4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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