So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
