Redeem this text for a blowjob
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize