so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
