I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
Everything about him screamed your future.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
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