it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
