I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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