i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Randomize