I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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