weddingsv make me drug and hornr
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Just puked most of my soul out..
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
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