This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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