We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
this just has baby written all over it
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
