Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
