I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We left the knife in your bed.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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