is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
