Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.