this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
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At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
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Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.