your thong is hanging out like whoa
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
23 Gruesome Scientific Facts That Will Make You Squirm
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.