Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize
