So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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