dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
