office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
