We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
