Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
