You really coming over, don't trick.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
