So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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