on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
