I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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