Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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