I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Randomize
