It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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