Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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