dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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