u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
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