why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
