Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Randomize
