genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Dick very happy bro
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
