You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
