Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
