Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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