have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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