Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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