Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize