i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
