We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
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Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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