i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
Randomize
